From hypervigilance to harmony
How to quiet your inner alarm system, build trust, and find peace in the present moment
Have you ever felt like life is a constant game of "spot the danger"? Like you're always scanning the horizon for traps, ready to pounce or retreat at the first sign of trouble?
If your answer is yes, I understand.
A few years ago I was introduced to the word, hypervigilance.
When I heard it, so many things began to make sense for me. I saw flashbacks of myself as a child — a young girl constantly on edge, always watching, listening, preparing. A child of adoption and the daughter of a father who struggled with alcohol addiction, I learned early on that safety wasn't guaranteed.
What is hypervigilance?
Hypervigilance is the body's overactive alarm system — a survival skill that once protected us but now leaves us stuck in a state of constant alert.
It’s exhausting. And it doesn’t just steal your energy — it steals your peace, your joy, and your trust in the world around you.
But more than that, it can sever the most sacred trust of all: the trust you have in yourself.
WHAT DOES it FEEL LIKE?
When you're caught in the grip of hypervigilance, your nervous system is like a tightrope walker in a windstorm — always trying to keep balance, never able to rest. And here’s the thing: it’s not your fault. Many of us learned to be hypervigilant because it once kept us safe.
But staying stuck there? That’s no way to live.
What if the real safety is in staying with yourself?
When you trust yourself, you don’t have to monitor every external threat.
You become the anchor, the calm in your own storm.
The key isn’t to stop noticing danger — it’s to notice yourself.
To notice that you are here. You are safe in this moment.
And trust me, this is no small task. Learning to stay with yourself after years of scanning the world for harm takes practice. It takes intention. But it’s possible. And when you do? You begin to feel the weight lift. You begin to feel free.
I want to share a simple exercise called the 5-5-5 Grounding Practice.
It’s one way to start reclaiming your trust in yourself when you feel your alarm system ramping up. The moment when your heart starts racing, your breath feels shallow, and your mind starts spinning — try this.
The 5-5-5 Grounding Practice
Pause and find 5 things you can see. It might be the way the light hits your desk, the shape of a tree outside, or the color of your shirt. Let your eyes land softly on each thing.
Notice 5 things you can feel. The ground under your feet, the texture of your sweater, the cool air on your skin. Bring your awareness to your body and the world it’s touching.
Listen for 5 things you can hear. Maybe it’s the hum of the refrigerator, the sound of your breath, or the distant bark of a dog. Let the sounds remind you that the world is here, and so are you.
This exercise grounds you in the present moment, pulling your nervous system out of its habitual search for danger. It’s a small, simple way of saying, “I’m here. I see you. I’ve got you.”
It’s within these tiny moments when trust is built.
Here’s something I’ve learned: trust isn’t a switch you flip; it’s a muscle you build. With every moment you choose to stay with yourself instead of searching for the next trap, you grow stronger. You prove to yourself that you’re safe in your own presence.
It’s not about silencing the alarm system forever — it’s about reminding it that you’re the one in charge now. That you are your own safest place.
So let’s take a deep breath together. Right now, in this moment, let’s practice the radical act of staying.
You’re not alone in this. You never were.
